But rather my companion "fear and self-consciousness" chose to come WITH me to class like a clinging Helena engulfing Demetrious in A Midsummer's Night Dream.

So how did I go from a 60 pound improv weakling to some hulking 100-something pound improv cheerleader?

The journey began with paralysis visiting me during my first Improv class.

I was doing a game where I am to pretend there is a box of goodies in front of me and I'm to dip my hand in to the pretend box and pull out the said imaginary item, look at it, name it and then throw it over my head and then pull more goodies out. Even while my two colleagues sitting alongside me would comment on the product presented - a la:

Me: "Here's a ball"

Colleague #1: "Oh it's so shiny"

Colleague #2: "I love the way they bounce"

And so on.

My reaction?

I investigated the box and panicked with the thought

"Crap, there is NOTHING in my box."

And I'm not joking.

For the reason that moment, I possibly could not imagine something which was inside.

"How is the fact that possible?" I remember thinking in the moment.

Seriously, there needs to be SOMETHING within the box!!!!

Days later I came to realize, oh yeah, there is something within the box alright.

FEAR!!

Fear which i wouldn't still do it - pull the item fast enough, have enough variety, what-evvvvvver, take your pick.

In teaching Artist's Way classes in line with the book by Julia Cameron called "The Artist's Way", I often remind our students that Julia discusses how "the have to be a great artist causes it to be hard to be an artist". In that moment of "box nothingness," the conscious and not so conscious voices during my head were requiring greatness when all I really needed to do was show up and listen.

Without judgment.

Often easier said than done.

I'd what I prefer to call my "reparative improv experience" after taking a Mindful Improvisation class with Zoe Wright Bell. I had shared my "improv box moment" together with her and she or he laughed knowingly (super comforting) and said "that's where mindfulness comes in so beautifully".

She went onto say how for the reason that moment a method to free ourselves from the pressure would be to allow ourselves to become conscious of what's happening in the moment and name it without judgment. She said what she tries to tell herself in that moment is to verbalize it:

"Huh, how funny I've nothing in my box. Is certainly not interesting."

Then to sit with it for some minutes.

Without pressure.

Without shaming yourself for the stupid empty box.

When that happened again within the Mindful Improvisation Class I took with Zoe and named my experience, ("Yup, empty box"), slowly things started to appear during my box...

Cowboy boot

Slinky

Toenail clippers

"How Wild!" I thought.

Additionally, it helped that she named some things that she believed were key for her and improv.

Don't put pressure on yourself to be funny, fast OR smart.

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